it's always darkest just before the dawn
so stay awake with me, we'll prove them wrong
so stay awake with me, we'll prove them wrong
i did
i fought with myself and i didn't give up and i got my happy dream, as i was truly happy that year before China
and now i'm fully awake
i'm out of the dark now, i know that it does get better
i can see the future ahead
i know, i can make it there
i can be whatever i want to be
i even think i know what i want. i'm at least working on that.
not all i do is right, but the wrong things i do... they are okay. they are not critical. i'll fix them.
it's all okay
but...
but.
just, i need to write it down.
i still don't believe it's all worth it.
i don't think living really, truly worth it
i don't exactly regret being alive...
although what the hell, i do. i don't want to be alive. had i a choice, i wouldn't do all of that again. had i a choice, i chose not to exist. i still... i don't really want it.
i don't know if anything ever would make me think otherwise.
love can. i'm such a romantic, after all. it really can.
but there's an issue with love...
it's something outside yourself.
it means that the meaning of life it could give to you, this meaning wouldn't come from inside
now, is it okay?
it is. it's beautiful. it's true. it's breathtakingly real, actually, it gives you the roots and the rights.
but... doesn't it mean that in reality you're empty?
you are empty.
life is just a chance to grow a soul
and you failed
and you failed
i want to be music
i want to be something untouchable, unseen, not fully comprehensible...and still filling you, giving you the strength... possessing the meaning of life. the sense in existing.
maybe... that's it.
if i were to chose, i would choose that. being a song. not a great composer or a singer or a poet. they are all too much real for my taste. but music...
i am the harsh singer's voice
i am the pain
i am the agony and suffering
i am something that just exists
i am what gives thousands of people a reason to be
i am a perfect soundtrack to a midnight ride except that i don't really need that midnight ride
or people
or myself
or anything but air or other substance i can spread through with waves.
i am that bittersweet happiness
i am the roar of the crowd
i am that feeling of unity, that feeling of not being fucking alone
i am the absolute
i am the music
As above, so below
Dismantled piece by piece
What's left will not decease
As within, so without
The seasons bring relief
Let me live and die in peace
I will be consumed, returned into the earth
Only passing through, nothing left to hold on to
Like the thaw against the snow, into the undertow
Cut the chord and cast me out
It's a promise that you cannot break
Was your life worth dying for?
The universe survives on give and take
Death is an open door
It's a promise that you cannot break
Was your life worth dying for?
The universe survives on give and take
Decay is the only law
As above, so below
Dismantled piece by piece
What's left will not decease
As within, so without
The seasons bring relief
Just let me live and die in peace
"Change - and everything is change;
Nothing can be held on to - to the degree that you go with a stream, you see, you are still, you are flowing with it
But to the degree you resist the stream, then you notice that the current is rushing past you and fighting you
So swim with it, go with it, and you’re there
You’re at rest."
It'll wear you down, through skin and bone
It's as if my mind has a mind of it's own
It'll wear you down, through skin and bone
It's as if my mind has a mind of it's own
When my heart skips two beats
I am hidden deep. Fast asleep
The sea will part, where oceans meet
Finally complete
It's a promise that you cannot break
Was your life worth dying for?
The universe survives on give and take
Death is an open door
It's a promise that you cannot break
Was your life worth dying for?
The universe survives on give and take
Decay is the only law
Swan song
A declaration of endlessness
I swear I will not look back
As I return into the black
When the veil lifts, how will I know?
Will I see God?
As above, so below
Dismantled piece by piece
What's left will not decease
As within, so without
The seasons bring relief
Just let me live and die in peace
"You can't hang on to yourself
You don't have to try not to hang on to yourself
It can't be done, and that is salvation
'Memento Mori' - 'be mindful of death'."
Dismantled piece by piece
What's left will not decease
As within, so without
The seasons bring relief
Let me live and die in peace
I will be consumed, returned into the earth
Only passing through, nothing left to hold on to
Like the thaw against the snow, into the undertow
Cut the chord and cast me out
It's a promise that you cannot break
Was your life worth dying for?
The universe survives on give and take
Death is an open door
It's a promise that you cannot break
Was your life worth dying for?
The universe survives on give and take
Decay is the only law
As above, so below
Dismantled piece by piece
What's left will not decease
As within, so without
The seasons bring relief
Just let me live and die in peace
"Change - and everything is change;
Nothing can be held on to - to the degree that you go with a stream, you see, you are still, you are flowing with it
But to the degree you resist the stream, then you notice that the current is rushing past you and fighting you
So swim with it, go with it, and you’re there
You’re at rest."
It'll wear you down, through skin and bone
It's as if my mind has a mind of it's own
It'll wear you down, through skin and bone
It's as if my mind has a mind of it's own
When my heart skips two beats
I am hidden deep. Fast asleep
The sea will part, where oceans meet
Finally complete
It's a promise that you cannot break
Was your life worth dying for?
The universe survives on give and take
Death is an open door
It's a promise that you cannot break
Was your life worth dying for?
The universe survives on give and take
Decay is the only law
Swan song
A declaration of endlessness
I swear I will not look back
As I return into the black
When the veil lifts, how will I know?
Will I see God?
As above, so below
Dismantled piece by piece
What's left will not decease
As within, so without
The seasons bring relief
Just let me live and die in peace
"You can't hang on to yourself
You don't have to try not to hang on to yourself
It can't be done, and that is salvation
'Memento Mori' - 'be mindful of death'."